February 13, 2012

Al-Qaeda Leader Voices Praise For Obama Administration's Syria Policy

Satire or reality? Truth or fiction? You decide.

(Al-Qaeda's HQ)---Al-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahri praised President Barack Obama and his administration's policy to oust the hated dictator of Syria, President Bashar al-Assad.

Appearing on video on Monday morning, al-Zawahri said his organization has made some profound changes since the assassination of its former head, Osama Bin Laden, in May of last year. "We in Al-Qaeda learned our lesson," said al-Zawahri. "We now know not to mess with America. We want to be friends because of our common interests and goals. We have decided to work with the Obama administration in Syria, Libya, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, and throughout the world."

In Washington, Al-Qaeda's stunning change in its policy towards America has received support among the most hawkish elements. "Al-Qaeda is obviously not the perfect ally. But we desperately need troops to change the regime in Syria, and if Al-Qaeda fighters want to assist us in this international effort, whether directly or indirectly, I'm all for it," said a Pentagon official who spoke to us on the condition of anonymity.

Meanwhile, in Syria the Free Syrian Army is anticipating a rise in its recruitment levels because of Al-Qaeda's call to Jihadists across the region to join the democratic revolution in Syria.

Many anti-Assad rebels are wearing Bin Laden t-shirts reminiscent of the famous Che t-shirt as a sign that they will carry on their martyr's heroic cause. In cities captured by the Free Syrian Army the image of Bin Laden graces the walls of many government buildings.

At the United Nations, news of Al-Qaeda's entry into Syria has been greeted with enthusiasm.

A UN official said: "Assad is a bad egg that has to be cracked, and the United Nations will do whatever it takes. Naturally, we were reluctant to embrace Al-Qaeda at first, but once you sit down with them and really get to know them you'll find that they are not bad guys. They are part of the United Nations's regime-change family. I think it is our job to break the global prejudice against Al-Qaeda which is inherently racist and anti-Islamic. The United Nations is not about hate and racism. It is about tolerance, peace, and freedom."

The UN along with international human rights groups have intensified their criticism of the Assad regime in recent weeks and call on President Assad to give up power.

American, French, Israeli, and British special forces are expected to join the Free Syrian Army's universal quest for freedom and dignity soon. President Obama has warned Assad that he will face Gaddafi's fate and sink in the sewers of Syria.

The biggest story to emerge from the conflict in Syria thus far is that Al-Qaeda freedom fighters will draw the sword alongside American veterans from the successful freedom operations in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Whether or not they will recognize each other from their previous interactions is an impolite question that should be suppressed in order to advance the greater cause of revolution in a badly governed country run by a despotic and demonic dictator.